some birds are funny when they talk








Stuck in my Head
"Kiss Me Harder" by Bertine Zetlitz
"Hot" by Avril
"Brain Problem Situation" by They Might Be Giants

Now Reading
Number 9 Dream by David Mitchell
Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro

Recently Finished
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by David Eggers
Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
Mad Tony and Me by Carl Hoffman
Sweet Soul Music by Peter Guaralnick
This Must Be The Place: Adventures of Talking Heads in the 20th Century by David Bowman
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Movies Lately
4 Months 3 Weeks 2 Days
Oscar Nominated Animated Shorts
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour
2 Days in Paris
United 93
The Savages
The Bourne Ultimatum
Sweeney Todd
The Departed
What Would Jesus Buy?
Ghost World
I'm Not There
She's The Man
Lars and the Real Girl
Romance and Cigarettes
No Country for Old Men
Into the Wild
I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With
Across the Universe

Shows Lately
Damo Suzuki/Stinking Lizaveta @ Mill Creek
Death and the Maiden @ Curio
Devon Sproule/Carsie Blanton/Devin Greenwood/John Francis @ Tin Angel
Assassins @ The Arden
Oakley Hall and the Teeth @ Johnny Brendas
Isabella and Flamingo/Winnebago and Map Me and Gatz and Songs of the Dragons Flying to Heaven and Sonic Dances and Strawberry Farm and The Emperor Jones and No Dice and Hearts of Man and Principles of Uncertainty and Isabella and BATCH and Addicted to Bad Ideas: Peter Lorre's 20th Century and Car and Sports Trilogy and Explanatorium and Wandering Alice and Must Don't Whip Um and Festival of Lies and A Room of Ones Own and Recitatif @ the Philadelphia Live Arts Festival/Philly Fringe
Martha Graham Cracker and Eliot Levin and Kilo etc. @ the Fringe Cabaret
Lullatone and Teletextile @ Boulder Coffee [Rochester]
TV Sound @ the M Room
Aretha Franklin @ East Dell, Fairmount Pk.
Romeo + Juliet in Clark Park
Daft Punk @ Red Rocks
Spoon @ Rockefeller Park
Ponytail at Pony Pants' House
Mirah/Benjy Ferree @ the 1UC
Tortoise @ World Cafe Live
Hall & Oates...ish
"Nuclear Dreams" - Mascher Dance Group, x2
The Four of Us @ 1812
Machines Machines Machines Machines Machines Machines Machines by Rainpan whatever
Mascher Dance Group/Nathaniel Bartlett
Cornelius @ TLA
Sloan @ World Cafe
In Fluxxxx
Slavic Soul Party!/Red Heart the Ticker @ I-House
the Fantasticks @ Mum
Peter Bjork + Jorn/Fujiya + Miyagi @ fkaTLA
John Vanderslice @ Johnny Brendas
The Books & Todd Reynolds @ 1UC
Into the Woods @ LPAC
The Fishbowl @ the Frear
Caroline, or, Change @ the Arden
Low & Loney, Dear. @ 1UC

Friday, March 5

i used to be so good at being alone. i used to relish it. back in high school, when i was used to not having particularly close or intimate relationships with anyone, except i guess my family, who were always around if i needed somebody. have i just grown helplessly codependent living my insular little campus life, where friendly companionship (or the ready possibility of companionship) is a near constant? i don't remember it being like this - is it just presently, with my mounting nebulous foreboding about after-college, that solitude coaxes out my generally happily latent-because-formless anxieties of a theoretical approaching cosmic-loneliness?

or/and is it being largely unbuffered in an alien outside world, this one seemingly rife with rules and opportunities for screwing up, and an overwhelming disconcerting air of victorian surveillance and discipline (so much more evident in this country than at home, albeit magnified here in this dormitory - the computer cluster i'm typing from, for instance, has posted notices not only forbidding non-ucl students to use the computers, but also warning that anyone found printing multiple copies or non-academic material will have his account suspended.)

the first couple hours of my flight were wretched - uncomfortable, irrationally disconsolate, vaguely nauseous. i felt like i needed to get something out of me, but i couldn't almost summon tears, i went to the bathroom at one point to see if i could make myself throw up, because i at least feel better after that; eventually, i was able to sleep, once they'd dimmed the cabin lights and taken away the meals (i didn't even touch mine.) and things got better.

i'm sorry; you don't want to hear this. my first day in london, which started at half-past eight this morning, has been generally quite nice. after the unexpected third degree i got from the customs officer this morning (he wanted to know, among other things, how i had managed to get 'so much time' off from school, and whether rae was my girlfriend, or just a friend) everything has been cheery. we had a pleasant jetlag-forestalling walk this afternoon; i took a little nap, then joined rae and her classmates on a field-trip to the tate modern - we met under the big bright yellow sun, under the big bright yellow (Romantically serene?) (post-apocalyptic?) sun that turns everything monochrome (it made my sweater match my scarf, and mostly neutralized the blue smudges on my hand from the pen than exploded inflight; i spent a while trying to figure out what color the convener's sweater was, and i could convince myself of pretty much any.), and had a chat about art, society, exhibition practice, and the weather. all my subjects, but i didn't contribute very much to the conversation, as i was happy to listen to what other folks had to say. as we finished a troupe of contact improv-ers showed up, so you could tell it was my kind of scene. we spelled out "MSP" (for modernity, space and place) in body-letters on the mirrored ceiling, and took a spin through the brancusi show (it took me a while to figure out how to look at it; then i remembered - materiality; also the shapeshifting as you circle the wide round plinths), then went to a lovely pub with an enjoyably intellectually enthusiastic and well-travelled ukrainian expat and anglophile for some mulled wine punch and crisps, and talk about cities, cafs, and facial hair.

even my jet lag has been a non-issue; i'm suitably exhausted now to get up at 8 for a day of housebuilding. as long as i can manage not to worry about money (as i'm determined not to), and rein in my usually better-behaved bathetic streak, we'll make a go of this vacation yet.

i can't understand why you refuse my one request
just to press against my weaponry and then lay bare your chest