Monday, October 3
ACTION ROSS
LIGHTS!... (to do: put up hooks to hang them)
CAMERA!!...(remember to recharge batteries)
And He's Off....
FASTER than a speeding ticket!
MORE EMOTIONALLY RESONANT than a locomotive (perhaps)!
ABLE TO LEAP wildly divergent, shoddily-developed epistemological approaches whilst obliquely dispatching weeks-worth of narrative recap in a single impenetrable-but-technically-non-run-on sentence!
MARVEL! as he resourceful salvages an evidently immaculate off-turquoise futon mattress from the 10th street sidewalk and fashions it into a couch using only his bare hands and his roommate's heretofore barren futon frame.
THRILL! as he daringly selects - not one, but - two sets of glasses frames to replace of his long-faithful, clubbed-to-death last pair -- soon to be framing his face in a brand-new style.
SWOON! as he gingerly attempts to partially dismantle his accordion to rescue all those within earshot from the excruciating oppression and terror of the stuck G-flat diminished chord button.
GASP as he ingeniously devises a new and improved way to eat lettuce!
STEP ASIDE NOW, Actions Dave and Zeke (but first, a round of applause for your help with the aforedescribed futon, and for being the chicest cement truck in center city, respectively): there's a new Super Action Figure in town.
wait. okay, I'm not really a superhero. although i did wear my apron as a cape the other day. [which just gave me a fiendish idea...dressing as a deranged/zombie baker could be an enjoyable and effective hallowe'en costume.]
speaking of actions, though, i did find one on the street on my walk home from yoga this tuesday. i appropriated it from the bowels of a smashed piano and carried it all the way home from a back alley near 11th and buttonwood (i leave it to you to wonder: how exactly did a smashed piano get there?), and it is currently resting, with alarming stability, on top of our kitchen cabinets. at some point it may have to be somehow turned into a chandelier, or at least an aggregative artwork. in lieu of any further "shake some action"-style puns, i will here interject my favorite piano joke, as told by my one-time friend Jay Daly, first piano technician in space [it replaced my non sequitor previous favorite piano joke, which was from the that's so funny i forgot to laugh jokebook] which is every bit as true as it is magnificent: "for every action, there is an equal and opposite damper assembly."
FLASH! ACTION NEWS UPDATE:
somehow, after an action-packed week of all that 'n'more
plus four straight early mornings of valiant muffin heroism
(not to mention some analytical design style whoop-ass that i visited upon the p4 standing order sheet)
i came home last night and lay down on the living room rug,
as gabe explained nausea my attention drifted to "(that's how we sing) amazing grace"
and my limbs were so heavy i felt like my body was already asleep while my brain lagged in low-state.
then i was all asleep
and i missed critical mass.
[damn, was really looking forward to that, an opportunity to revel in my newfound bikerhood. plus a political idea i actually care about a lot. besides, what a brilliantly perfect name for that phenomenon, critical mass - a pair of dense words for which in this usage almost no meaning goes underimplented; even the religious (though not the physical) significance of "mass" seems fitting to me - because why can't biking be a religion? and this is the congregation of the believers, a gesture of faith, hearts on the future and each other.]
in fact, i was awake in time to attend, but i knew my limbs were still too weak to make it fulfilling. i wasn't really ready to call it a night (again) at 6:00 though. i only napped for another four hours before waking up again, duping twin cin to cassette possibly for strategic tour-following road-trip purposes [and i toot: eventually, it's the equal of their first two, even if the second side is a spot spotty. even bejar brings the goods.], declaiming a trio of sunset tree numbers, eating half an apple and honey, failing to connect to the internet (aw please mr. bojangles...i blame d-link), and going to sleep for the night.
now it's now (saturday morning), and my to-do list covers more than one side of an envelope, and i feel a little paralyzed without the internet, but stickies will have to be my many-windowed blog slate for the moment, and i'll get this to you soon as i do.
love and youth and dedication
what a winning combination
practicing procrastination
let's be rock and roll's salvation
CAMERA!!...(remember to recharge batteries)
And He's Off....
FASTER than a speeding ticket!
MORE EMOTIONALLY RESONANT than a locomotive (perhaps)!
ABLE TO LEAP wildly divergent, shoddily-developed epistemological approaches whilst obliquely dispatching weeks-worth of narrative recap in a single impenetrable-but-technically-non-run-on sentence!
MARVEL! as he resourceful salvages an evidently immaculate off-turquoise futon mattress from the 10th street sidewalk and fashions it into a couch using only his bare hands and his roommate's heretofore barren futon frame.
THRILL! as he daringly selects - not one, but - two sets of glasses frames to replace of his long-faithful, clubbed-to-death last pair -- soon to be framing his face in a brand-new style.
SWOON! as he gingerly attempts to partially dismantle his accordion to rescue all those within earshot from the excruciating oppression and terror of the stuck G-flat diminished chord button.
GASP as he ingeniously devises a new and improved way to eat lettuce!
STEP ASIDE NOW, Actions Dave and Zeke (but first, a round of applause for your help with the aforedescribed futon, and for being the chicest cement truck in center city, respectively): there's a new Super Action Figure in town.
wait. okay, I'm not really a superhero. although i did wear my apron as a cape the other day. [which just gave me a fiendish idea...dressing as a deranged/zombie baker could be an enjoyable and effective hallowe'en costume.]
speaking of actions, though, i did find one on the street on my walk home from yoga this tuesday. i appropriated it from the bowels of a smashed piano and carried it all the way home from a back alley near 11th and buttonwood (i leave it to you to wonder: how exactly did a smashed piano get there?), and it is currently resting, with alarming stability, on top of our kitchen cabinets. at some point it may have to be somehow turned into a chandelier, or at least an aggregative artwork. in lieu of any further "shake some action"-style puns, i will here interject my favorite piano joke, as told by my one-time friend Jay Daly, first piano technician in space [it replaced my non sequitor previous favorite piano joke, which was from the that's so funny i forgot to laugh jokebook] which is every bit as true as it is magnificent: "for every action, there is an equal and opposite damper assembly."
FLASH! ACTION NEWS UPDATE:
somehow, after an action-packed week of all that 'n'more
plus four straight early mornings of valiant muffin heroism
(not to mention some analytical design style whoop-ass that i visited upon the p4 standing order sheet)
i came home last night and lay down on the living room rug,
as gabe explained nausea my attention drifted to "(that's how we sing) amazing grace"
and my limbs were so heavy i felt like my body was already asleep while my brain lagged in low-state.
then i was all asleep
and i missed critical mass.
[damn, was really looking forward to that, an opportunity to revel in my newfound bikerhood. plus a political idea i actually care about a lot. besides, what a brilliantly perfect name for that phenomenon, critical mass - a pair of dense words for which in this usage almost no meaning goes underimplented; even the religious (though not the physical) significance of "mass" seems fitting to me - because why can't biking be a religion? and this is the congregation of the believers, a gesture of faith, hearts on the future and each other.]
in fact, i was awake in time to attend, but i knew my limbs were still too weak to make it fulfilling. i wasn't really ready to call it a night (again) at 6:00 though. i only napped for another four hours before waking up again, duping twin cin to cassette possibly for strategic tour-following road-trip purposes [and i toot: eventually, it's the equal of their first two, even if the second side is a spot spotty. even bejar brings the goods.], declaiming a trio of sunset tree numbers, eating half an apple and honey, failing to connect to the internet (aw please mr. bojangles...i blame d-link), and going to sleep for the night.
now it's now (saturday morning), and my to-do list covers more than one side of an envelope, and i feel a little paralyzed without the internet, but stickies will have to be my many-windowed blog slate for the moment, and i'll get this to you soon as i do.
love and youth and dedication
what a winning combination
practicing procrastination
let's be rock and roll's salvation
